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pookie_rocks1
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Name: Matt
Country: United States
State: Ohio
Metro: Clyde
Gender: Male
Interests: Anything fun, I'll try anything once, twice if it doesn't kill me. I enjoy reading, mathematics (which people say I'm crazy) teaching people the things they don't know anything about,
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I love Dr. Pepper! DP is amazing A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!! deff. spellworthy! so as I was saying, I also love to act, I could honestly do it as a profession, if I were any good at it, and don't try to say I am cause if I was, I'd get better parts!
Expertise: Math, I am the bomb at math and I kick butt! I also am pretty good at playing the drums and piano, I'm not an expert, but when I try really hard, I can do anything I want to.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  MatPoc4
MSN: pookies_litte_favorite@hotmail.com
Yahoo:  MPocock12000
Member Since:
3/20/2006
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| So, song of the year. Can't believe that 2008's been here and gone already and I'm still confused about my current situations. I feel compelled to do so many things, but i have too many people to please, even though i just want to live for myself. I don't see that happening anytime soon, at least not until the fall. I need a job and can't find one, but then again I'm not really looking. I hate working. I just want to find a way to live by myself, for myself, without needing to do anything. Sleeping as late as i want, staying out with the people i care about as long as i want. That's what I really want, but i know there's no way i can possibly get that because it's impossible. There is no physical way that i can get that no matter how hard i try. Anyhow, this is the song
Artist: Nickelback
Title: Gotta Be Somebody
This time, I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life, the one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing, I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting, will play out like a scene
Straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holding my own breath, right up 'til the end
Until that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with
Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight
And dammit this feels too right, it's just like deja vu
Me standing here with you
So I'll be holding my own breath, could this be the end
Is it that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with
Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
You can't give up, looking for a diamond in the rough
You never know, when it shows up, make sure you're holding on
Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on
Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me, ohhh
Nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know their not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
Nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
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| So it's that time again, actually a little late approximately a month but whatever, it's still time for another song, kody's getting lonely lol. So here it is
Artist: Garth Brooks
Title: More than a Memory
People say she's only in my head
Gonna take time but I'll forget
Say I need to get on with my life
What they don't realize
Is when you're dialing 6 numbers just to hang up the phone
Driving cross town just to see if she's home
Waking a friend in the dead of the night
just to hear him say it'll be alright dapslyrics
When you're finding things to do at night, not fall asleep (?)
Know she will be there in your dreams
that's when she's
more than a memory
took a page to everything she ever wrote(?)
watched every word go up in smoke
tore all her pictures off the wall
that aint helping me at all
'Cause when you're talking out loud to nothing but air
you look like hell and you just don't care
you're drinking more than you ever drank
and sinking down lower than you ever sank
then you find yourself falling on your knees
shaking your fist, begging "please"
that's when she's
more than a memory
People say she's only in my head
Gonna take time but I'll forget
but when she's in every minute of every day
every thought i think
every breath i take
she's everywhere and she's everything
she's more than a memory
Ok so here's the big deal, i heard this song forever ago for the first time and it never clicked as to why i enjoyed it so much. Turns out it's been my life for the last three years and it fuckin sucks. I've been playing cards until four in the morning because i can't fall asleep. The way it looks today is probably going to be the same way but my partners in cards are all asleep so i will probably be up playing some WoW. We'll see so all you people in dream land, hope you're having a wonderful one and are enjoying them to the max. Have fun all
Matt
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| hello everyone. Currently sitting at corey's house and i'm thinking about going to bed, but with the upcoming of the three years since the worst day of my life, just like the last two times i'm finding it hard to sleep again filled with the pain and missery from within. I've been helping corey's dad recently putting in the floor to their shop and stuff, it's been keeping me busy but i dunno, i feel overwhelmed but not at the same time. Complexity to it's max like normal during November. It's nice to see you back btw justin, glad to see some more people are converting back to xanga.
So, spending time with corey has made me feel a little bit better but i'm always really depressed around this time. As of right now, I am thinking about a lot of things, like for example if i could do my entire high school years over again, the things i would change.
1. Try harder in band, not help nick out and play the quads my senior year
2. Do better in my studies, get a higher GPA so i don't have to worry about money my junior year in college
3. Be more outgoing, I would've asked her out a lot sooner than i did and would've done something to keep her. Outcome would've been completely different
4. Lived for myself... fuck everyone else.
5. Never would've started smoking which hurt her so much
6. Wouldn't have tried out for football... waste of my time
7. Would've tried harder to lose weight... maybe that was the problem...
Now here's where you guys come in. Do you think that these changes in the past would have changed me in what i am today? If so, what do you think the change in personality triats would be and if you think it would be better or worse. Let me know, i know there's nothing to do with the past because there's no possible way in the present to change the past but this entire months posts are going to be about the past so you'll get used to it.
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| So, song of the quarter.
Artist: Matchbox Twenty
Title: Kody
Kody sat down on the avenue
He tapped his feet, to the humming of the highway
He watched the light shine down on the broken glass, and thought
I dont got no reasons, yet
There it is and there it was
It was clear to all of us
We kept this hat of broken dreams
And we pulled them out, when we needed them
Around
So please hand me the bottle, I think im Lonley now
And please give me direction, I think the hurt set in
And I dont feel nothing
Theres a squeak hinge down on the back gate
It lets us know if he comes around
I dont sleep that good anyway
If youve never heard that silence, its a
God awful sound
So please hand me the bottle, I think im Lonley now
And please give me direction, I think the hurt set in
And I dont feel nothing
I dont feel nothing, no I dont feel nothing
Theres nothing to feel good about here
Dont much get down to the avenue
I could drive, but it takes so much to get there
Dont get off all the broken glass, the
Cadillac scene,
Well Ive seen a lot of good things die and im
In an over emotional way
So please hand me the bottle, I think im Lonley now
And please give me direction, I think the hurt set in
And I dont feel nothing
So... why is it that everything from the past comes clear somewhere between 2-6 years after they actually happen? Why is it that people, especially me, can be so thick when we're young, but when we get older everything starts making sense and you start to realize where you messed up in the past and could have changed to make things so much different in the present? But like they say, hindsight is 20/20, and you cannot change the past no matter how much you want to, no matter how much of a difference it would've made.
School seems to be getting more different than i originally remembered. I used to enjoy school, looked forward to becoming a teacher, but i think school is starting to burn me out. I'm not entirely sure i want to be a teacher anymore. These last few weeks it's been harder and harder to go to school. When it comes to go to school i begin to feel sick, but i have nothing that i worry about. I almost want to take a year off and just work and get my funds back up to where they used to and give myself a break from school, maybe get my own place or something, I would really enjoy it. This week has really amplified that feeling, having the house to myself, being able to be loud all hours of the night. But I'm told that it's hard to go back once you leave. If that's so, maybe it's not in the stars for me to have a higher education. I know i've always talked about being a teach, i'm damn good at it that's for sure, but i just don't know if it's for me anymore. I know no one reads these, well someone must b/c i had five hits on my last one, but just let me know what you think.
Matt
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| 3 years later, still feels like it was yesterday. Why do i still hurt? Why can't i live my life in joy and happiness like every other person in the world? Am i doomed to be eternally in pain? I don't understand anymore and I'm tired of trying to understand it. I continue to play a song over and over again and i don't know why, probably because it reminds me of that person, but still, i need to stop because it's not helping my situation any. Alumni band was last night, well two nights ago and again, i find that i cannot sleep, yet again. I fret over the smallest things, had the best time of my life yesterday for awhile, and it reminded me so much of what i've missed out on in my last three years and i don't understand what's going on. I got to see people that i haven't seen in forever.
Naturally we went to Denny's afterward, naturally right? Where I spent time with Elisha and Sadie, two people i haven't seen in far too long. We had so much fun, and stayed up until about one. But for some reason, my head wasn't at denny's i was in constant thoughta bout a certain person. I almost feel pathetic...
Heh, three years and still alone...
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